A random thought

As I grow old,
Let there be a hand to hold,
Stories to be told,
His secrets & desires unfold,
Honesty & respect not to be sold,
No greed for money or gold,

Weather not so cold,
As i grow old,
Strong yet bold,
Let there be a hand to hold...

Lost soul

Fragile and broken in the verge of motion was trying to make some physical movements but was not supported to move an inch hither or thither.Each efforts within seemed so much fierce like the magma boiling ,all set for a volcanic eruption.But each of those efforts had no far away links with outcomes or results.
What was the search ,the driving force yielding for ? Had the search ever give a clue ?.....................
 Puzzled, messed up and millions of unanswered questions that remained knocking at the doors of mind and soul with the hope that there might come some remedial measures. The internal system of peace was already disturbed and out of balance.Google nor any search engines could figure it out with the exact suggestive solution ,situation never pretended to be favor .Victimized by the battle in between assumptions and reality.

Result:  If the heart's injury and strokes could ever be shown to the onlookers that would be the most dreadful wound being ever seen.Still the pace had to be continued ,right on the same track.Nobody's honey coated words of comfort would reconcile the heart and bury the worst scenarios.Hopes in the midst of despair and disgust, anticipation that let the heart beat continue ,for her belief was still expecting her lost soul to return back...

Drifting in the Waiting List

  Had heard multiple no. of times that occurring in the waiting list really would be the most awful situation. For me apparently waiting list was rather introduced as the waiting list, we have during entrance examinations. But Damn, I got it so wrong then. For me the meaning of waiting list was so limited. A midst this time being where I conquered the various forms of waiting list. Before that where I fall so short over knowing what the waiting list was. I never had to experience being on the list for actual. Whenever wherever I had my examinations be it for new college, new school. I made it exactly at one shot. May be I had somewhat superbia over that.

  But from hearsay, I had had the realization that how hard it costs for someone to wait in that waiting list.Perhaps,that's what so human that you can actually relate to how others feel despite being in their feet. You are in a waiting list that is somewhat a hoodoo ( a bad luck).To pass this phase there has to be some or the next situation grateful enough to you. Then you keep your fingers crossed. Lucky enough you will get a call if not better luck next time with arise in level of your dissatisfactions.

  I call the time span I am through the days of waiting list. No its not the case where I have appeared for any entrance examination. But it is the real waiting list situation. Been a while I have been waiting almost for anything & everything. Every morning with a fresh smile I assume things will go fine. But this assumptions have to wait. Having lists of to do list of fantasies, of dreams. But all of them got to wait. Its not that I didn't have put on efforts. But nothing seems to happen. I have a dream indeed I dream a lot but all of those dreams got to wait.

  Today every night I actually can feel the afflictions how it feels like to have a never ending wait for all those imaginations, aspirations and dreams to be conquered. They say I am a Cancerian a cat with nine lives I land up in a very difficult situations also I am a late bloomer. 

  Thats how the hope within is still alive within. What happens if today I've been in a waiting list with whole lot of anticipations? By tomorrow I won't. Because,they say every wait has to be paid off.

Siesta Time

I lay at my bed and observe out.The playfulness of the blue sky and the white powder milk like cloud.I then start thinking.If wishes were airplanes I would have been a pilot.Then I knew my mind was overcrowded with thoughts because that is when the volume of a churpi within my mouth slowly decreases making me an aggressive chewer.With still in the action process,eyes staring high, teeth chewing faster,mind in its restless thoughts and body at its rest.Thereby,apparently my visual gets blurred,sleepiness hover around and I close my eyes with the task of chewing just completed and the churpi slowly vanishes.

Off to siesta.

A New Chapter

15th July,Oh How could I forget the day of getting younger,er lets say the day which always gives birth to a newer me with much much of hopes.Strange isn't it just then yesterday it was my mom's birthday and today its mine.It is more of like planned.With time, the charm of having celebrations has slowly begun to disappear but from the midnight to the dusk your phone rings up again and again which gives u a feeling that your day is definitely special to a lot of other people as well.It definitely do makes glad to hear all the best wishes and people wishing for brighter future.One more thing that strongly proves that u still belong to this world. 

God! you may never have listened to all my prayers but how u gonna be deaf to all these heaps of prayers?

Though time has drastically transformed me but still knowingly and unknowingly there resides both the angelic as well evil version of me that were inhabiting ever since I existed. Angelic for the soft corners within me that educe people to love me and evil refers to those bad traits which at times are earnest. So every while on this very day I make it a point to go through my resolutions that most probably fails to implement. But still I do enlist them.I am not gonna promise that I am gonna be what every one wants me to be alike but Yuss I can still be optimistic that I can make more of the hearts happier in this year ahead.

Cheers to the system of marking birthdays and Happy Birthday to me.

Thoughts from Elements of life.

It is indeed true to some extent as well.

You finally find a man you are interested in that also appears interested in you and the chase is on. You start calling him, emailing or texting him. You make yourself readily available to him in hopes he will notice and be more interested in you. You're a strong independent woman who knows exactly what she wants and you intend to get it. 

But then he doesn't respond the way you want him to. Insecurity starts setting in and you start doubting yourself. I thought he was interested in me? So now you are frustrated and you begin to feel angry. You stop calling, texting, and emailing him. You decide you're not going to be readily available to him at his beck and call. So what happens next? He starts calling you, texting you, emailing you and shows even more of an interest in you. The cycle repeats over and over and starts to feel like a game. The longer it continues, the more frustrated and confused you are. You start to believe, indeed it must be t

rue, men love bitches. Sound familiar?

In every other aspect of your life, persistence usually does pay off. In the mind of a woman you think this strategy makes perfect sense to apply in relationships as well. Here's the problem. MEN DO NOT THINK LIKE WOMEN. You know the innate nurturer that lives in you? Men have an innate hunter that lives inside of them. They are wired and programmed to be the hunters and the pursuers. In order to feel like a strong powerful man, they need to be the one to pursue you. At the end of the hunt, YOU are the prize. How challenging is it if they never get to compete and someone gave them the prize in advance of the competition?

Here's the subconscious message they really get when you chase them: She's manipulative, she's needy, she's insecure, she's clingy, and she is emasculating me. When you backed off and allowed him to pursue you, the subconscious message he received was: she's confident, she's secure, she's independent, and she's a prize worth pursuing.

Women work too hard chasing men. Truly our job is simple. Relax, be confident and open, be your authentic self, and allow him to crave and pursue his prize. If a man really wants you, he will stop at nothing to get you. ~Brenda

Shristi Shrestha In Miss World

The 62nd Miss World was  being held in The People's Republic of China.And it was indeed a lot of hard efforts of China to make it a huge success and they did it.But this time for we all Nepalese this Miss World was the most awaited Miss World ever.This time Shristi Shrestha had come up with much anticipations of winning the blue crown home for the first time.
Yes,Shristi Shrestha being born in Chitwan had shifted to London in her teens with her family.With successes of modeling and fashion in both Nepal and foreign,she had so much professionalism though she is a Bsc,Nursing student and a future nurse by profession.Miss Nepal was her dream by childhood from the time she was in Chitwan by this year  2012 her dream had been transformed into a realization that she can achieve it.She then came for Miss Nepal, participated in it and indeed won it.Though every success stories hold a lot of question marks as per do they really were not a part of conspiracies but I believe that was just a pay off for her dedication, hard work and needless effort.Having known her up close and personal during my participation at Miss Nepal 2012.She was so much friendly .The line that I feel wud b appropriate to describe her wud b "फलेको बृछ को हागा न नुहेको कहा छ र".Cause having achieved so much at such a tender age every time we were close to her she never let us feel the sense of superiority that she indeed possessed.
It was also an additional attachment with her as we were the roommates for the close camp.She was such a  lovely human being I wud love to say that I love and respect her.Not only this I get to learn a lot of lessons from her as well be it the tips to be perfectionist. from makeup ,hairdos styling to a lot more.
OK,This all were the part of Miss Nepal diary.
Lets go to Miss World.Shristi having the height far more then the average Nepali would eventually stand tall and high 6.9 ft.With the experiences in all her modeling assignments she knew everything be it from body posture,walks moves to photo shoots.She had it all.And being selected in the Top 10 in beach wear made us so sure that she will do it.Her performance in the stage at the event was indeed tremendously superb.Looking really charming in a yellow dress by Sakil.She made us really proud by coming to Top 30.Though her each and every performance was better than ever but the only  fact that made us lag behind is all due to the protocal of Nepal.For them the country so instable don't hold to b the country of Miss World.So,untill and unless we come up with a prosperous Nepal no bestest gal can ever win the title.Lets pray  that the day come soon.For now,We are always proud of Shristi and I proud to be the batch of her Miss Nepal,i.e.Miss Nepal 2012.Wish u all the best for your future.And Congrats to the 62nd Miss World Miss China.Lets c who wins in Indonesia??